LOVE AND LUST
Two very different things, but the line between them is far less obvious than you would think. The words fuzzy, blurry, unclear, obscured, and complicated come to mind. Most everyone in their lifetime has experienced some form of love or lust. What can start out as lust can easily turn into love, just as much as what you thought was love could end up just being disguised as lust. It’s being able to truly understand yourself, being in tune with your needs, life experience and pure timing that help decipher which one it is.
I am no stranger to both. I of course have a type and it just happens to be tall, dark and handsome! Ha 😉 Believe it or not, I am not often attracted to most men. When I am, the hardest thing for me is to be able to check in with myself, hold back a little, take it slow and figure out what it is I truly like about that person. When I was younger, I think I hopped into things more quickly. I was always starry-eyed and thinking I would be the lead in the next Hallmark movie! Ha Chances are most of my experiences were probably lust minus one in my 20’s that was love. Not to take anything away from people who are in love in their 20’s, but I think at this age everyone is more experimenting and just trying to figure out what they like about themselves, let alone another person. You make amateur mistakes, your hormones are roaring and there’s no sense of urgency to settle down, so most partner choices are based on sexual attraction/chemistry/physical. After going through all of these different experiences and getting a little older, I think you finally start recognizing the signs of when a connection to another feels deeper and more real. Let’s face it…you have a baseline and more history of interactions to compare it to. Do I still go gaga over a tall, handsome man when I meet one…answer is YES, but there’s only a select handful that I consider truly “good men” who I admire and respect how they live their lives.
My feeling on what separates lust from love… the person may be “gorgeous” on the outside, but the person is also your best friend, also your true companion, and also someone you trust to share your “stories” with. This person is someone you can’t live without… Lust is fleeting. Love is not. Love might go through transformations and change over time, but it still remains.
What I will also leave you with is this…love will always bring out the best in you, and the people that truly love you will make you feel special, loved, cherished and safe. Lust on the other hand, can bring jealousy, increase insecurities and it only feels good for a certain amount of time.
For more on Relationships and love go here.